Welcome to New York.
Wow. I don't even know where to begin. My past week in New York was one of the hardest weeks of my entire 18 years on this earth. We partnered up with Global Gates Missions "to see gospel transformation of the world's most unevangelized people groups who have come to global gateway cities, and through them reach their communities around the world." New York City is a strategic location because of its diversity and increased influx of unreached people groups. There are over 2 million Jews, 800,000 Muslims, 400,000 Hindus, 650,000 Chinese, and 50,000 international students living in the Metro New York area.
We were split up into evangelism teams, and each team was assigned an area in New York. My team was assigned to Sunnyside and Astoria. There, we were given a list of homes to knock on and attempt to share the Gospel with them. Out of about 40 homes that my team went to, about 5 opened their doors. Since the homes weren't working very well, we decided to go to parks and busy streets to strike up conversation. What I automatically noticed was that the people were so guarded. When I would greet people walking by, they would hesitate and most didn't even wave back.
The first day quickly came to an end, and my team didn't have any Gospel conversations. However, every night, all the teams would gather for debriefing where people would share their experiences. At first, I was discouraged that others were seeing so much success. I heard stories about people sharing the Gospel to Muslims and atheists. Jealousy stirred inside of me. And how silly of me to feel jealous over God's work!? I was reminded that we are all part of the SAME TEAM! We are all partners in serving the same God! Also, success isn't defined by how may times I get to share the Gospel or how many people I see come to Christ. Instead, SUCCESS IS OBEDIENCE and obedience always leads to joy (John 15:9-11)! I am only here to plant seeds, and God does the growing. He is the one who saves, not me. I am only a small part of God's grand mission to seek and save the lost, and how beautiful it is that God CHOOSES to use us to accomplish his mission!
I also experienced the POWER of prayer this week! Scripture says that God hears every prayer (1John 5:14). There is no such thing as unanswered prayer. When we aren't expecting an answer to our prayers, it is insulting to God. We are denying his characteristics to be almighty, sovereign and faithful. And WOW...God did answer prayers this week! On Thursday morning before starting the day, I prayed that God would break my heart for what breaks his. It has been an exhausting week, and I had started to doubt God's faithfulness. I started thinking how sharing the Gospel is going to make even the slightest dent on a devout Muslim's beliefs or an atheist that has been hurt by a Christian. I wanted to feel God's burden for the lost people in New York, and I prayed that He would use that to set a fire in my heart to desire to go and share the Good News! After a quite uneventful first 3 hours, I finally encountered a man that was open to hearing about Jesus. I shared the Gospel using a simple 3 circles diagram. He got so offended and mad; I felt attacked. After the conversation, I felt an immense burden for him, and I was so overwhelmed that I just cried. It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that I realized God had answered my prayer. In that moment, God reminded me that even though I was hurting for that man, He hurts infinitely more. God desires to save everyone (1Timothy 2:4)! In the midst of tears, I was also reminded of the TREASURE of community. My team lifted my head up, and we all prayed over the man.
My sole goal this summer is still to know God more. I came in with a mindset of wanting to see changed hearts, but when I didn't see the immediate results, God reminded me that He desires to work in MY heart as much as He wants to change the hearts of those who have never heard of His name. God is still sanctifying me; I'm not there yet. He desires to work IN and THROUGH me. New York has been a GOOD experience.
Much love,
Natsumi
Hello Natsumi,
ReplyDeleteYou are learning some very good and deep truths. Oftentimes, we go on a mission thinking that we are going to do something for God. With this mindset, we are likely to miss God in our moments and rely on our own training, knowledge, or communication skills. If we don't see much fruit, we think it is because we need more training, or that maybe we weren't believing strongly enough. If we just trust more deeply, or share more boldly, or follow what others are doing that seems to be working, we think we will soon find the key to peoples' hearts. We are looking within ourselves for an improvement so that we can achieve the results we desire.
But God is at work. He does the heavy lifting, because the Holy Spirit must convict--must grant repentance. It is His work, and His presence, that makes all the difference. We would do well to engage Him in our moments, and invite Him to use us however he sees fit. A quick prayer for God to do something, and then open your mouth to speak. What comes out may not amaze you... the crowds may not fall down on the spot at your words--you may even think you flubbed up royally. But God loves THAT moment... that moment when you realize you've got nothing, and you become desperate for Him, and you surrender to Him. That moment is beautiful to Him, quite apart from whatever else HE may or may not do in that moment through you. Likely, what He is doing is not visible to you, or will yield fruit in time, but, for this moment, your submission to Him--your inclusion of Him in your activity, your seeking of Him and His will and power instead of looking past Him in your own vision and strength, your humility and desperation for Him to work--all of these things bring great glory and honor and praise to His Name. He will delight in that moment because you have delighted in Him.
I have "Psalm 37:4-6" Inscribed on my wedding ring, which says "Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday." I used to think that the desires of my heart were for things, or people...something on earth. I realize now that the deepest desire of my heart is HIM. When I delight in the LORD, I will most assuredly find the desire of my heart. And my righteousness and justice? It is Jesus Himself--His light, and His noonday shining.
Be encouraged. We are reading your words, we are praying for you. And God Himself is with you and is the best Friend and Yokefellow. You are likely to see Him most clearly when you feel you are at the end of yourself--when circumstances are beyond your control or figuring out. Rest in Him.